Absinthe - The Green Fairy

 

 

 

An absinthe spoon is in a way the most worthless spoon of all time, you see, it’s flat and full of holes. Nothing to eat soup with, I ensure you. There are many different kinds of absinthe spoons, but they all fill the same funktion: to place sugar on and then drip water over it until it melts and mixes with the absinthe. These haven’t always existed either, they were invented once absinthe had become really popular in France (the Swiss don’t usually use sugar, and therefor no spoons either). Read more about absinthe spoons here.

 

 

Despite its name, an absinthe fountain is not something that sprays absinthe around, it’s not even made for absinthe. It’s suposed to be filled with ice and water and then provide a slow drip or gentle stream over the sugar so it melts down into the absinthe. There are also some alternatives to absinthe fountains, but I’m not going to talk more about them in this post. If you want to know more about absinthe fountains, click here.

 

 

Lastly we have a piece of paraphernalia which doesn’t actually have any function in the preparation of absinthe, and that is the saucer for the absinthe glass. Yeah, I know, do I really need a special plate to put my glass on? Snob alert! No, of course you don’t need it, but truth be told there ARE/WERE special ceramic plates which comes with the absinthe you order. The saucer have the price for your absinthe painted on it, a little sneaky way to present your check if you ask me, but I bet it can be practical as well. All the saucers I’ve seen follows the same pattern: They have high edges, a circular furrow in the middle and 6 additional furrows that goes from the circle out towards the edges. They all seems a bit big to me, but then I often drink my absinthe from a smaller Glencairn whiskyglass instead of the bigger absinthe glasses. Instead I keep smaller plates of metall, you will be Abel to see them in many of my photos on this blog. Usually I’d give you a link to where you can read more about them, but this is about all I know about them.

 

 

So, let’s get down to how to actually prepare your glass of absinthe. If you start by pouring some absinthe into your glass I would say you are of to a splendid start! Put your absinthe spoon like a bridge over the glass and put one or more sugar-cubes upon the spoon. You chose the amount of sugar that is right for you, many absintheurs says that you only need one cube, if any, but since it’s you who are going to drink the damned thing I say you can use as much sugar as you want baby! Go nuts! Personally I like my absinthe really sweet ;) When you are done stacking all those lovely lumps of sugar on each other, place the glass under a spigot on the absinthe fountain (which should be filled with cold water) and let it trickle. There are several reasons why you should add water slowly:

 

1. The louche gets thicker. I don’t quite understand the theory behind this but I’ve been told that it has to do with the essential oils and it’s as important to take it slow here as it is when you are mixing oil and vinegar.

 

2. The sugar needs time to dissolve, it can’t dissolve in only absinthe. There is special absinthe sugar that is suposed to dissolve extra fast, but for me ordinary sugar cubes works just as well (if not better).

 

3. Different oils in the absinthe parts from the alcohol at different concentrations. If you do the process slowly and let one oil separate before another you will get a much more interesting aromatic experience.

 

4. Last of all I want to add myself that it can be damned cozy and relaxing to let the preparation take its time. Lean back, relax and savor the time it takes, then you are all calm and distressed when it’s time to have your fantastic drink!

 

 

 

When you add water to your absinthe the louche will start to appear, sometimes it is foregone by some oily streaks. Once the louch is full (when it has spread throughout the whole glass and is at its thickest) you are free to add the rest of the water in the speed you see fit, but remember reason nr. 4 as mentioned above. The general recommendation is to use 3-6 parts water, but that is up to you, you can drink it neat if you’d like, although it is not recommended. Finish up by stirring the glass with your spoon so all the sugar gets resolved (if sugar is used). This whole ritual (the French ritual) can be very relaxing and it is very soothing to watch a thick louche evolve, a bit like watching a flame (but don’t burn your absinthe please). Take a look here.

 

 

 

A supercool but 100% stupid and not traditional way of preparing absinthe is to pour absinthe over the sugar-cube, set fire to it, let it burn for a while and then put it out by pouring water over it (usually the absinthe in the glass ignites as well). This is called the Bohemian ritual, the Czeck ritual or the Fire ritual. I bet this ritual will give you a sense of adventure, excitement and a really cool video in your phone, but it won’t give you a fair absinthe experience. It actually started in the Czeck Republic (hence the name the Czeck ritual) as I marketing ploy to get people to buy their ”absinthe”. Using this ritual is also a really stupid idea, for multiple reasons. Firstly, the burned-sugar-taste doesn’t do the culinary experience any favors. IF you are going to try this, than for heavens sake use some crapsinthe and make sure that the poor bastard who is going to drink this is bereft of a sense of taste. Secondly, the burned sugar givs the absinthe a REALLY ugly look, so if you eat with your eyes as well as with your mouth, put the lighter away. Not all people cares about the esthetics though, but personally a prefer my absinthe without burned lumps in it, thank you very much! Last, and maybe the most important reason: safety. If you drink a flaming shot of absinthe it could go really bad. But even if you make sure to extinguish the flame (as described above), scolding hot glass and ice cold water doesn’t mix well and you could end upp with a lap full of broken glass and (potentially) burning absinthe. Absinthe glasses are quite expensive and it’s quite bothersome to buy new glasses after every absinthe experience, so how about we try to keep them whole, ok? I anyone would like to see this ritual go to hell without sacrificing one of your own absinthe glasses, then take a look here.

 

 

 

If you want to ruin the experience even more, then why not take an absinthe shot? No added water means no separated essential oils, which in turn means no louche, no complex taste and no wonderful aromas. Not that it matters anyway, because you will have totally subdued your tastebuds with the concentrated alcohol.

 

 

 

If you don’t really want to pay $15 for a absinthe glass, $6 for a spoon riddled with holes and a $200 glorified water dripper (who knows, maybe you won’t even like absinthe), then I have a budget alternative for you: Instead for a absinthe glass, use a regular glass, plastic cup, shoe or whatever else you have at hand. For a spoon you can use a regular fork, and then pour water from, decanter, plastic bottle, another shoe or what not. You can find an example here. But whatever you do, don’t skimp on the absinthe, good absinthe makes a good absinthe experience.

 

 

 

If you don’t give a crap about rituals, you just want your drink straight away, then you can just mix absinthe and water and then add regular sugar (no need for it to be a cube) or gum-syrup according to taste. It will cause many absintheurs to stare at you in horror, but then you just throw your bottle of $9 Czeck crapsinthe after them and they will run off. If you are unlucky they might return, splash you with iced water and chant ”The power of France compels you!”. In that case, notify them that before absinthe spoons were invented (sometime during the1870´s) people used gum-syrup (some bars still do), it was called ”Absinthe Gommée” and is thus historically accurate. Then you go home, light a glass of crapsinthe and worships beneath a great flag of the Czeck Republic.